


even when winter comes, the flower won’t be twisted off

by starrykai



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, M/M, Mentioned Choi Beomgyu, Soft Sookai, Unrequited Love, bestfriends tyunning, feelings suck :(, sookai being boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrykai/pseuds/starrykai
Summary: if yeonjun is his winter, then soobin is his spring.because somewhere along the way, kai kamal huening found his beginning in choi soobin.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai
Comments: 7
Kudos: 65





	even when winter comes, the flower won’t be twisted off

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S NOT SAD I PROMISE?$!)$"!)$"$(
> 
> it's seven in the morning and I haven't slept yet. I miss sookai so much pls

_i was staring at the sky and walking for a while_   
_my past love is filled with feelings I can’t let go_   
_i don’t believe that love exists_   
_i’m just living_

——

kai lets out a deep breath as he continues to walk. his footfalls are soft, almost as silent as the streets. the night sky seems darker now that the winter is around the corner. it hasn't arrived yet, but kai can feel the cold wind blowing against his face, leaving delicate kisses on his cold cheeks. 

he buries from his chin up to his nose in the ivory scarf his bestfriend, taehyun, had carefully wrapped around his neck, before taking a sharp right turn, heading to a place he always goes to whenever he's feeling some type of way.

——

it has been almost four years since kai talked to yeonjun.

to kai, yeonjun was his everything. 

they met when he was just a small, timid eight year old boy— the age where kai, unlike yeonjun, was still too innocent for this world. kai still remembers back in days when he would get bullied because of his face that doesn't look korean to them. the kids would constantly tell him how weird he looked. no one wanted to be his friend.

and then yeonjun came into his life.

yeonjun, with his small eyes and incredibly short hair with short bangs. yeonjun, who was always polite and respectful to his peers and his teachers, and was one of the smartest kids in their year. yeonjun, who stood up for kai when no one else did. yeonjun, who never failed to compliment his face and told him that he looked unique.

and yeonjun, who offered kai his friendship when he held his hand out to help him up. the moment kai accepted his hand, a friendship, that would last for a long time, bloomed.

ever since that day, kai and yeonjun were attached at the hip.

to kai, yeonjun was his summer. and just like how summer wraps its arms around you like a warm blanket, yeonjun brought warmth into kai's life.

until senior year came.

kai was twelve when he mistook a feeling for admiration.

———

highschool, to kai, was bearable. 

no one bullied him. in fact, he made new friends on his own, without having yeonjun by his side to help him out. to name a few, there were choi doyoon; the typical highschool bad boy who, surprisingly, wasn't actually bad at all. and choi beomgyu, a model student from another class.

highschool was also where kai got to learn more about himself, life, feelings and love. doyoon would always come to him when he needed someone to talk about the unrequited crush he had for one of the girls one year below them. and beomgyu— a happy and in love beomgyu, would excitedly tell wonpil how good it felt to be in love with someone.

he was sixteen when he realized that the feelings he had for yeonjun weren't exactly platonic.

if you asked seventeen year old kai to describe his bestfriend, he would describe yeonjun as someone who holds all the entire stars and galaxy in his eyes, someone whose smile can light up kai's day and bring warmth to his heart, tugging at his heartstrings gently, as if reminding him that yeonjun had his heart.

beomgyu was right— being in love can bring you happiness. just being with someone you love makes you feel like you're the happiest person alive.

but of course, being in love isn't always unicorns and rainbows— kai had to learn that in a hard way.

———

senior year was the first time kai got his heart broken by his bestfriend and his first love. he knew the feeling wasn't mutual. but it was fine. at least he could still be with yeonjun, even just as his bestfriend. it was fine. kai could still handle his feelings. 

_it was fine._

until it wasn't.

until kim jieun came.

kai had tried so hard to ignore, but he couldn't shake the thoughts out of his mind. kai had seen the way yeonjun stares at kim jieun, the new girl who became fast friends with soobin—his classmate who was a year older than the rest— it was almost as if she was holding the entire world in her hands. 

he didn't miss the secret glances, but he still chose to turn a blind eye, convincing himself that yeonjun, his best friend who had never talked about crushes or relationships, didn't have feelings for kim jieun.

it was a week before their graduation day when kai decided to confess.

and it ended up with kai holding his fragile cracked heart in his hands, his eyes filled with tears. everything was slowly falling apart. but he still gave yeonjun a bright grin, pretending everything was fine.

however, as his long time best friend, yeonjun could see right through him.

“jieun and i are together. have been together for two weeks.”

“i'm sorry for not telling you earlier, hueningie. I wanted to tell you but—”

“it's fine, yeonjunie.”

_it's not fine._

“congratulations! I'm so happy for you.”

_no, it's not fine, yeonjun._

and that was the last time they talked. kai then disappeared after they'd graduated and moved to seoul without telling beomgyu, doyoon and yeonjun.

choi yeonjun, who used to be kai's summer, is now his winter.

——

_it’s so hard to live, it’s too much_   
_i wanted to fall down_   
_but then you came to me like the sunlight_

——

kai sits on an empty bench and takes his hands out of his jacket's pocket before rubbing them together. the han river looks so breathtaking. especially in the evening. the glow of the lights bring fairy-tale like colors to the dull night; one of the reasons why the black haired male loves to go here.

he lets out another sigh as he looks up and thinks about the unexpected meeting that had happened an hour ago when he went to his favourite cafe.

for the first time in four years, kai met yeonjun.

when he looked at him, gone all the warm feeling that used to reside in kai's heart for so many years, gone all the butterflies that would tickle his stomach like a child's laughter whenever yeonjun smiled at him.

earlier, when they made eye contact, his heart didn't skip a beat.

kai felt nothing.

he never thought he'd see him again. not after kai just up and cut all contacts with him and their mutual friends. the meeting wasn't special. there were no hugs, no words, no tears. there was just a slight head nod exchanged between two people who have already moved on and agreed not to walk or look back.

just a simple nod of acknowledgement and a _i-hope-you've-been-well_ smile from an old friend is already enough.

kai feels at ease.

—

“pft. i knew you'd be here”

someone suddenly retorts, snapping the black haired male out of his thoughts. kai immediately brightens up when he catches a pink hair. he quickly stands up and walks clumsily towards the newcomer.

“hyung!” kai beams as he latches onto the older. the pink haired man rolls his eyes in annoyance, but kai can see a tiny smile threatening to break free.

“ningning.” he mumbles, wrapping his arm around kai's waist as he leans down to place a soft kiss on his exposed forehead before running his fingers through kai's soft and curly hair. 

kai looks up to study the taller's features and smiles. 

the lights are making his face glows beautifully.

———

after winter, comes spring, when all the bare trees start to grow their leaves again.

if yeonjun is his winter, then choi soobin is his spring.

———

choi soobin; the guy who was loved by the whole students. they were never friends back then; with soobin, being a popular student, and kai, who was more like a wallflower. 

these two never mix together.

kai met soobin a year after the graduation, in a cafe where kai works as a barista. he'd almost killed soobin by giving him the wrong order. kai had accidentally mixed up the orders and gave soobin a drink that could've killed him.

(“well, i didn't know you were allergic to it—”

“WELL, you should do your work properly and not mix up your customers orders !”)

feeling bad, kai decided to treat him to dinner for a week. and that's how they started to become friends. 

seven months later, after they had a huge argument because of a misunderstanding, taehyun had decided that he had enough of seeing his two close friends suffer, only because kai was afraid to love again, and wouldn't let soobin to break down the walls that he had built over the past year. taehyun took it upon himself to make them sit down and forced them to talk.

_“hyung, hueka. I'm sorry for doing this but i care about you two a lot. I can't stand seeing you guys walk on eggshells around each other. I can't stand seeing you two look so heartbroken and mope around all day. so please, talk to each other. be honest. and don't fuck it up.”_

and when taehyun and kai exchanged a brief glance, the older gave kai a subtle nod, as if telling him that it's okay to open up his heart again, that it's okay to let someone in, that it's okay to accept his feelings, that it's okay to love again.

and kai did just that.

now, they've been together for two years and five months and kai has never been happier.

it's funny how fate works sometimes.

———

kai tugs at soobin's oversized hoodie, “hyung.” he murmurs.

“hm?”

“you make me so happy.” the younger admits, burying his face in soobin's neck afterwards, breathing in his fruity scent. his scent never fails to make kai feels safe and protected. the taller's chest rumbles and shakes with laughter. it brings a soft giddy smile to the younger's lips. 

“you're being extra soft tonight. is there something you need, huh?” soobin teases before dropping a gentle kiss on the younger's hair. “you make me so happy, too, baby.”

kai's heart speeds up, his heart is full of love for choi soobin.

he smiles. after rain there's a rainbow, after a storm there's calm, after night, there's morning, and after winter, there will always be spring welcoming you.

spring melts away the winter blues, as we bath in the warm sunshine.

just like how spring adds new life and new beauty to all, soobin adds colors to kai's life, planting flowers in his heart.

he still remembers what his mom told him two years ago when he brought soobin to his house and introduced him to his mother and sisters as his boyfriend. 

he still remembers the warm smile she wore across her face when she told him that spring is the time of new beginnings.

and kai wholeheartedly agreed.

“i love you so much, soobinie hyung.”

“i love you more, ningning.”

because somewhere along the way, kai kamal huening found his beginning— and his forever— in choi soobin.

——

_even when winter comes, the flower won’t be twisted off_   
_now I can finally breathe_   
_with you_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm @rollerkaister on twt. I'm writing sookai socmed au !


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